This is Real
by Sophiacharlotte
Summary: Daryl sees Carol outside the fence at Terminus disguised as a walker and thinks she's actually dead. CARYL post season 4


AN: so I saw this prompt on Facebook it was the head cannon of Ikkleosu who blogged it on Tumblr. (i'm not on Tumblr in case any of you were wondering) Anyway I had to get permission to use it because I love this idea and this one shot started to forming in my brain as soon as I read it. Ikkleosu is so lovely and sweet and said sure, I hope she likes it! The prompt or head cannon involves spoilers that have already been released, so if you fear spoilers bow out now...the headcannon that the reason Daryl cries at the end of the premiere is because he saw Carol disguised as a Walker and thought she was dead, making the reunion when he realizes she is in fact alive even more emotional. (That's me paraphrasing, her blog was lovely and much more eloquent) anyway, let me know what you think.

I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead

_**THIS IS REAL**_

The Termites were too stupid to know they had a herd gathering on the fence.

That was the first thing that had caught Daryl's eye's when they'd adjusted to the light after he'd been pulled out of the dark train car gasping for breath. The Termites had thrown in a stun grenade, which had given them just enough time to enter the train car and grab who they were coming for which was obviously the entire group. Half blinded and gasping for breath he'd been on the ground and had his hands tied behind his back before he'd recovered.

They had a herd at their fence, and they obviously were to stupid to either know or care. Daryl watched almost in apathy as the walkers seemed to gather in one spot.

_**They don't seem to spread out anymore.**_

Her voice floated around him, running through his mind like it had been the past two weeks. Fuck for the past two years.

_**You're every-bit as good as them...every-bit.**_

_**Nine lives remember?**_

The last two weeks her voice had haunted him, a mocking reminder that she was gone. When he'd been ready to give up, that was the one thought that had kept him going, kept him sane. Carol might still be out there somewhere. She might be alone...she might need him, like he needed her.

He hadn't realized how much he would miss her until she was gone, ...more than all the others. He hadn't realized how much he needed her until she was gone,...more than his next breath.

The only positive light in the whole fucking clusterfuck that was Terminus, was that Carol was out there somewhere, at least he hoped she was. She still had a chance, she was too smart, she would have never fallen for those Terminus signs. She would have seen the trap they'd all missed. He blocked out all the niggling doubts in his mind that she hadn't made it. She had to...she was his hope.

He hoped she found a group, that would help her, and love her.

A sudden image of Carol with another man floated through his mind, of her beautiful neck and back, of someone else touching her, loving her. The thought made him absolutely insane. Another missed opportunity he would never get back. He should have taken the oppertunity to be with her when he had the chance. He shouldn't have let his insecurities hold him back.

_**Pretty Romantic, Screw Around?**_

He sighed sadly to himself watching the herd at the fence in morbid fascination as the Termites gagged and bound the rest of the group; he should have said yes. He'd wanted to, even back then.

Huh...she was right, he thought, they really didn't spread out anymore. The herd was clumped together in one massive pile. All except for one straggler, slightly off to the side. A hysterical laugh spewed up from his gut when he realized that the walker was wearing a poncho. Carol would find that funny, he thought with a pang.

The walker turned slightly to the side and he caught a glimpse of that unmistakable profile. His heart felt as thought it stopped beating in his chest. No,no,no,no...it couldn't be. That neck, that neck he'd fantasized about, sucking it, kissing it, biting it...he'd spent so many hours staring at it when she slept. He loved watching her sleep. She never knew he did that, but it made him feel calm, at peace, ...happy. He would know that neck anywhere, but he had to be mistaken. The clouds shift then and a glare of light bounced off of the walker's boot, and he couldn't deny it anymore. Those fucking boots, she loved those boots.

He started screaming uncontrollably around the gag. Fighting as they stood him up to walk him into the building most likely to kill him. He didn't care, he just wanted to run to her, to let her end him. She didn't deserve to be a monster, she deserve to be at peace, to rest. She was the one person in the world he'd swore he'd never fail again, but he failed her, again.

He gave up, she was gone, maybe if JC and God were real like she thought, they would be together again. Maybe he could tell her all the things he'd been to scared to say. His body went lax, limp as they pushed him to his knees. That's just great, he thought looking around at the cars and trucks, he was going to die in a fucking garage. He heard Bob and Rick talking to the fuckhead leader of the termites but he couldn't be bothered to care.

There was a skylight in the building and the clouds moved once again allowing the sun to come streaming down, surrounding him with light. He stared up at it, imagining Carol's face, ignoring everything around him but that light, but then he saw one of the termites pick up a bat and go take a stance behind Glenn, as though readying himself to swing at Glenn's head. Like a pussy he squeezed his eyes shut...he couldn't watch that. That's when he heard it, the large bang and people shouting in the courtyard that the fence had gave way.

The fuckhead leader and his minions took off running outside, the door swinging open to reveal a herd that had to be over a hundred.

The rest stood up, still bound and gagged, frantically looking for a way to cut their bounds, he stayed kneeling, what the fuck was he supposed to do...kill walkers with his feet?

The other garage doorway at the end of the building was open, and the group turned as the familiar sounds of moans started to approach it. Three walkers entered the doorway shuffling along. He realized with both horror and happiness that one was Carol.

She could finish him, they would be together. He couldn't see her face, but he wasn't sure he really wanted to see her like that. She was lagging behind the other two, when suddenly her hand moved purposely under the poncho grabbed a knife and took down the other two in mere seconds.

She smiled at the stunned group and whipped off the bloody poncho to reveal her regular jacket and blouse underneath.

"Bleck...never want to see that smelly thing again" she said tossing it away.

She ran to Daryl first cutting his bounds and pulling the gag from his mouth. She briefly ran her fingers through the hair at his temples a concerned look on her face.

"You okay Pookie?" She said

He was obviously dead. This couldn't be real so he nodded yes.

"I'll go cut the rest free, we should see if those cars have keys..." She said smiling and heading off to free the rest of the group starting with Rick who spoke.

"Carol...what are you...how?" He heard Rick ask confused as he checked the cars ,most of them did have keys.

"I'm saving your asses Rick, just go with it, it gets even better." Carol said back to him. Daryl , turned back to see Carol look over at him and flash that cheeky grin the one that he loved so much. He felt the familiar kick he always got straight to his gut. He didn't feel dead, this felt real.

"Daryl " Glenn said rushing over to him "look what I found" he pushed his crossbow and several arrows at him, they felt real too.

"Get into the cars and follow me," Carol said running back over to him and grabbing his hand "I'll take Daryl with me Rick...I think he's in shock."

**XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXx**

Carol raced along the route she, Father Gabriel, and Tyreese had planned, leading the small convoy to the Father's church, the meeting spot. She kept a close eye on her rear view making sure no cars got separated, but an even closer eye on Daryl, he was really worrying her.

He had a death grip on her hand, thank god this truck was an automatic. He wouldn't look at her, and he hadn't said a single word. She was worried he was going into shock. She tried to talk to him, telling him the story of meeting Father Gabriel, and how he helped her Tyreese and Judith, but nothing seemed to be getting through.

When she pulled into the church parking lot she saw and excited Tyreese exit the building holding Judith and Rick fall to his knees. She smiled as Carl excitedly took Judith from Tyreese.

"I saw you...at the fence...recognized your boots. I thought..." He said suddenly and stopped staring out the window at seemingly nothing.

"You thought I was dead?" She asked softly and he nodded.

"I'm sorry...I never meant for you to think that..." She whispered.

His chest was heaving as he swallowed big gasps of air. He bit his bottom lip like he was holding himself back. Suddenly he slid across the bench seat. His arms shot out and grabbed her under the armpits pulling her onto his lap. His arms banded tightly around her waist, his face was buried in her neck.

She realized his body was shaking, she felt tears on her neck,she wrapped her arms around him tightly, whispering soothing noises into his ear. She waved Rick and the rest of the group into the church.

"This is real right?" He said his face still muffled in her neck.

"Yes Daryl, this is real" she said with a smile as he leaned his head back to look at her. She brushed away the trails on his cheeks that his tears had made in his dirty face.

"Don't ever fucking leave me again" he said gruffly

"I won't" she said

"I'm not joking...I gave up, when I thought..." He stopped as though unable to bring himself to say it.

She smiled bringing her lips in to lightly brush over his, but was surprised when he let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl and deepened the kiss. It was everything she'd every hoped for and more. She was panting when they broke apart and his mouth trailed down to her neck.

"I love you Pookie" she whispered running her fingers through his hair.

He stopped his body becoming immobile, then leaned back to look at her again, two tears trailing down his face.

"This is really real? This isn't a dream?" He said his voice breaking.

"Daryl "she said cupping his cheeks "This is real.." She said pressing a kiss to his lips feeling his arms tighten around her wAist even more "This isn't a dream" she said kissing him again.

"I love you too" he whispered " I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner I ..."

She placed her index finger on his lips stopping him. "Daryl none of that matters now, there's nothing you've done that I need to forgive, I only hope you can forgive me" she said

He turned his face into her palm nuzzling it with his lips "Ain't nothing you did for me to forgive either"

She sighed when he brought his lips back to her neck. "I've been dreaming of hearing those words, I love you, from you for so long" She smiled feeling the urge to tease. "Just remember, I said it first"


End file.
